What We Do

We don’t think convenience and quality have to be mutually exclusive, so we created Dead Metaphors Coffee to take our passion for well-crafted drinks on the road right to where you already are: your office, gym, church, event, training, or party. We’d love to show you why we think the ordinary things of life are worth a second look. 

  • Morning Coffee Programs

    Recurring on-site service for office buildings, gyms, coworking spaces, and campuses. We set up in your lobby or common area during the morning rush, serve your people, and pack out before the day gets going so there’s no permanent footprint.

    Two ways to run it.

    Option 1 — Your team pays

    We set up at no cost to you. Your people order and pay per drink, as they would at a coffee shop, except they don't have to leave the building.

    No cost to the property. No commitment.

    The simplest way to add a real amenity. Good fit for multi-tenant buildings, gyms, and coworking spaces.

    Option 2 — You cover it

    You pay by the hour and your people drink free. Works well as an employee perk, a return-to-office incentive, or a recurring thank-you.

    2 hours, up to 60 drinks — $525
    3 hours, up to 90 drinks — $750

    Additional drinks beyond the cap: $6 each. Additional hour: $225.

    Extended arrangements

    Running several mornings a week, or want to lock something in for a few months? Recurring and multi-month schedules are priced separately, and the rate comes down meaningfully with commitment. Multi-location arrangements too.

    Tell us what you're thinking, and we'll put together a number.

  • Staffed service for corporate events, employee appreciation days, church functions, conferences, retreats, open houses, and parties. We handle setup, service, and cleanup.

    Essentials — 2 hours, up to 60 guests — $700
    Signature — 3 hours, up to 120 guests — $1,050
    Full Service — 4 hours, up to 180 guests — $1,450

    Add-ons: additional hour $250 · second barista $275 · iced tea and cold brew station $150 · travel beyond 25 miles $2/mile

  • For smaller meetings. We deliver hot coffee, cold brew, cups, and everything else, and pick up afterward. No staff on site.

    Serves 25 — $225 · Serves 50 — $375

  • Standing delivery of fresh cold brew concentrate to your office. One gallon makes roughly 64 drinks, which is usually appropriate for a team of 30 for a week.

    $85 per gallon, delivered weekly. Monthly plans available.

    The first week is on us when you sign up for a month or more.

Let’s Talk

Tell us what you need and we’ll get back to you within one business day.